Post written by Cathy @ In My Life
Dating was tough enough. It took me many years before I felt comfortable putting myself out there again. I had been widowed at a young age. When I was 25 after only 2 years of marriage my high school sweetheart was killed in a car accident along with his younger brother who was driving the car that day. I thought then that losing my husband would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. In some ways it was and still is. I guess I was just hoping that it meant I was getting the worst out of the way early in life. I would find out how wrong I was 7 years later when I found a lump in my breast at 31 years old.
My first thought when I heard the words “you have cancer” was death. I figured I would be reunited with my husband sooner rather than later. After some of the shock wore off I was able to realize that if I survived losing him that I would somehow survive cancer.
So there I was a young single woman facing a mastectomy, reconstruction, and then 6 months of chemo. I was living on my own and working as an OT at a local hospital. I was hoping I would be ok physically, emotionally, as well as financially. On August 20, 2001 I had 10 hours of surgery to remove my breast and then build a new one using my own belly fat and a piece of my stomach muscle. The formal name is TRAM flap reconstruction which I aptly named my free tummy tuck. I spent a week in the hospital and 3 months out of work during which I began chemo. I continued to date during all of it. Once my hair fell out dating got much trickier. I was dealing with the bald thing and chemo induced menopause but somehow I was still hopeful that I could find love again. I struggled with disclosure unsure of when to tell the guy about my cancer. Sooner rather than later my hair loss would make decision for me as I couldn’t hide the cancer anymore. Some guys would bow out gracefully and then others were just mean. Often times I wanted to throw in the towel. I think what kept me putting myself out there during cancer treatment was that it helped me to still feel alive. All of the things in my life that made sense like going to work, going out with friends and dating became the things that helped me feel a little more normal during my surgery and treatment. No doubt it was difficult especially when I met the guy who told me “You are lucky I am with someone like you…”
As I was nearing the end of chemo I put myself out there online yet one more time and met a man who could see past all the scars and the bald head to the person hidden inside. He had just lost his mom to breast cancer a month before our first online conversation and yet he still wanted to meet me. We celebrated our 6th anniversary on May 31 the same date as my cancer diagnosis. I am now an 8 year survivor. As difficult as life gets sometimes we have to try and move forward. Life shouldn’t stop with a cancer diagnosis. Despite all the fear the best we can do is keep on living.
Cathy Bueti is the author of Breastless in the City. Visit her at www.cathybueti.com
Sorry, this giveaway has ended. Please find our current giveaways in the sidebar.
Cathy has decided to offer one copy of her book Breastless in the City to one of our readers.
To enter: Visit Cathy's Site and leave a comment with something you found interesting on her site. You must do this before any additional entries will be allowed.
For additional entries (Please leave separate comments for each entry) you can do any/all of the following:
***If you are already a follower of my blog, please be sure to leave a comment so that your additional entry is counted.
Please note: this offer is open to US residents only.
WINNER - Carma
Please don't forget to donate by clicking here for Keep a Breast or here for Susan G Komen.
Current Giveaways
If you would like to take the Blogging for Boobs Breast Bash button to add to your site, here is the code;
<a border="0"
href="http://talkinwithteenie.blogspot.com/search/label/blogging%20for%20boobs%20breast%20bash"
target="_blank"><img
src="http://images44.fotki.com/v1581/photos/1/1396159/6896765/Untitled-vi.gif"/></a>
Dating was tough enough. It took me many years before I felt comfortable putting myself out there again. I had been widowed at a young age. When I was 25 after only 2 years of marriage my high school sweetheart was killed in a car accident along with his younger brother who was driving the car that day. I thought then that losing my husband would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. In some ways it was and still is. I guess I was just hoping that it meant I was getting the worst out of the way early in life. I would find out how wrong I was 7 years later when I found a lump in my breast at 31 years old.
My first thought when I heard the words “you have cancer” was death. I figured I would be reunited with my husband sooner rather than later. After some of the shock wore off I was able to realize that if I survived losing him that I would somehow survive cancer.
So there I was a young single woman facing a mastectomy, reconstruction, and then 6 months of chemo. I was living on my own and working as an OT at a local hospital. I was hoping I would be ok physically, emotionally, as well as financially. On August 20, 2001 I had 10 hours of surgery to remove my breast and then build a new one using my own belly fat and a piece of my stomach muscle. The formal name is TRAM flap reconstruction which I aptly named my free tummy tuck. I spent a week in the hospital and 3 months out of work during which I began chemo. I continued to date during all of it. Once my hair fell out dating got much trickier. I was dealing with the bald thing and chemo induced menopause but somehow I was still hopeful that I could find love again. I struggled with disclosure unsure of when to tell the guy about my cancer. Sooner rather than later my hair loss would make decision for me as I couldn’t hide the cancer anymore. Some guys would bow out gracefully and then others were just mean. Often times I wanted to throw in the towel. I think what kept me putting myself out there during cancer treatment was that it helped me to still feel alive. All of the things in my life that made sense like going to work, going out with friends and dating became the things that helped me feel a little more normal during my surgery and treatment. No doubt it was difficult especially when I met the guy who told me “You are lucky I am with someone like you…”
As I was nearing the end of chemo I put myself out there online yet one more time and met a man who could see past all the scars and the bald head to the person hidden inside. He had just lost his mom to breast cancer a month before our first online conversation and yet he still wanted to meet me. We celebrated our 6th anniversary on May 31 the same date as my cancer diagnosis. I am now an 8 year survivor. As difficult as life gets sometimes we have to try and move forward. Life shouldn’t stop with a cancer diagnosis. Despite all the fear the best we can do is keep on living.
Cathy Bueti is the author of Breastless in the City. Visit her at www.cathybueti.com
Sorry, this giveaway has ended. Please find our current giveaways in the sidebar.
Cathy has decided to offer one copy of her book Breastless in the City to one of our readers.
To enter: Visit Cathy's Site and leave a comment with something you found interesting on her site. You must do this before any additional entries will be allowed.
For additional entries (Please leave separate comments for each entry) you can do any/all of the following:
- Donate money to support Breast Cancer by clicking on one of the donate buttons on the right side of my blog. 10 additional entries for donating! Don't forget to leave 10 extra comments.
- Blog about the Blogging for Boobs Breast Bash and this giveaway and paste the button on your blog. Just copy/paste the code from my sidebar to your site.
- "Follow" my blog on blogger
- Tweet about the Blogging for Boobs Breast Bash and this giveaway. Use #b4bbb in your tweet so I can find it.
***If you are already a follower of my blog, please be sure to leave a comment so that your additional entry is counted.
Please note: this offer is open to US residents only.
WINNER - Carma
Please don't forget to donate by clicking here for Keep a Breast or here for Susan G Komen.
Current Giveaways
- Bad Ass Survivor Pendant
- Cooking For A Cure
- Digital Invitation
- Glass Pendant
- Orglamix Organic Eyeshadow
If you would like to take the Blogging for Boobs Breast Bash button to add to your site, here is the code;
<a border="0"
href="http://talkinwithteenie.blogspot.com/search/label/blogging%20for%20boobs%20breast%20bash"
target="_blank"><img
src="http://images44.fotki.com/v1581/photos/1/1396159/6896765/Untitled-vi.gif"/></a>
